CLOUD: A Framework for Creating Great Paragraphs

Almost any good book on writing will include a section on composing paragraphs, telling the importance of five factors: topic sentences, coherence, unity, appropriate length, and proper development. Most students can understand these five aspects of good paragraphs, but remembering the list is more challenging—until now.
 
Introducing . . . CLOUD.
 
The letters in CLOUD stand for Coherence, Length, Organization, Unity, and Development. Using the CLOUD framework, you can easily remember the five critical attributes of good paragraphs. Let’s review each of these below.
 
C is for Coherence
Make sure sentences flow logically from one sentence to the next. Coherence is achieved through systematic progression from one related idea to the next.
 
In addition to logical coherence, be sure your sentences have appropriate cohesion. Whereas coherence refers to the logical and rational interconnection of ideas, cohesion focuses on specific words that clarify the relationships among the ideas. Cohesion words can occur both within and between ideas. The following samples show different types of cohesion words.

• Addition: In addition, she is an LPN. Further, she has six years of experience.
• Comparison: Similarly, Gavin also worked as a systems engineer at A & B, Inc.
• Consequence: Because his father passed away on Sunday, he will not be traveling with us to New York.
• Condition: If we can get the Williams contract, then we’ll gain a greater foothold in the market.
• Example: For instance, she received a recommendation letter from the company president.
• Forecasting: Her outstanding education is complemented by the following three key experiences.
• Numeration: First, announce the change. Second, discuss its benefits. Third, ask for feedback.
• Place: At the conference in Raleigh, we can review your redesign plans.
• Time: Later, we’ll go to dinner.

 
L is for Length
Especially regarding paragraphs in the body of a document, avoid writing paragraphs that are so long that they look difficult to read. Many people suggest line counting as a way to determine maximum paragraph length, such as five or six lines for short messages or eight or nine lines for long reports. Perhaps a more reliable method is to just trust your eyes—if a paragraph looks long and uninviting to read, it is too long! When you encounter a paragraph that is too long, find the most logical breaking point (where the topic changes) and divide the paragraph in two, or perhaps even three.
 
And remember—sometimes a one-sentence paragraph is best!
 
O is for Organization
Generally use a direct approach in paragraphs, with a topic sentence leading the way. The topic sentence serves as a mini-agenda, or forecasting statement, for the paragraph. Feel free to also add a summarizing sentence at the end of the paragraph as appropriate. To check your document for direct-paragraph organization, skim through the document and read only the first sentence of each paragraph. As you do this, see if you obtain enough of the critical information to understand generally what the document is about. If you don’t understand, go back and write more descriptive topic sentences for each paragraph. Because many people read in detail only the first few lines of a document and then just skim the rest of the message, good topic sentences are critical.
 
U is for Unity
Once you have a topic sentence in place, ensure that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph have unity; i.e., each sentence should refer to the content introduced in the topic sentence. For example, if the topic sentence is about vacation days, the paragraph content should be about vacation days. However, if the topic sentence includes vacation days and sick days, the subsequent sentences should discuss both vacation days and sick days.
 
D is for Development
Be sure to give adequate information to support, or develop, the topic sentence. You can develop the main point of a paragraph in many ways, as shown in the following examples.

• Applications: “You could use this method in a variety of situations, including . . .”
• Evaluations: “Let’s compare the two approaches side by side to see which one . . .”
• Examples: “For example, last week two employees complained about . . .”
• Explanations: “We first observed a 46 percent decline in X; then we noticed a large decrease in Y. Therefore, we concluded that . . .”
• Testimonials: “The head of our main manufacturing operation says that . . .”

 
Now that you have a basic understanding of CLOUD, test your ability to use CLOUD as you read the two following paragraphs. Identify the specific CLOUD strengths and weaknesses in each.

1. Kerry’s work has been a problem ever since he was hired. I have talked with him on three different occasions about the need to improve, but nothing has happened. I plan to let him go on July 11. His work affects at least a dozen other employees. His performance record and my notes are attached.
2. I have decided to terminate Kerry’s employment, effective July 11. The main reason for this decision is due to his lack of meeting project milestones in his programming work. These missed deadlines cause delays for at least a dozen other employees working on the projects. I have talked with Kerry on three separate occasions about the need to manage is work more efficiently, but he has shown no improvement. Kerry’s performance record and the documentation of my interviews are attached.

 
You probably noticed that the first paragraph fails three of the five paragraph tests. To its credit, it is not too long and it does have unity, but it has problems with organization, coherence, and development. For example, it does not begin with a good topic sentence (the idea that Kerry is being fired). It also bounces from one idea to the next and reflects a lack of coherence and cohesion. Further, it fails to develop the case for Kerry being fired.
 
The second paragraph reflects good strength in all five paragraph standards. It begins with the main point, achieves unity by sticking with the topic of discussion, moves logically through the reasoning behind the decision, gives sufficient detail to understand the reasoning behind the decision to terminate, and avoids excessive length.
 
In addition to using CLOUD to help with composition, you can use it to guide your review of completed paragraphs. For instance, a colleague once said to me, “I can sense poor writing when I see it, but I don’t know how to give feedback for fixing the problems.” Using CLOUD as a feedback framework could be a tremendous help to this colleague.
 
CLOUD is a great tool both for writing and for giving feedback on the writing of others. For example, if you are creating a blog, you can use CLOUD during the composition process. If you’re reviewing an important email written by a colleague or subordinate, you can use CLOUD as a framework for giving feedback.
 
Memorize the CLOUD framework—Coherence, Length, Organization, Unity, Development—and try it on a few paragraphs. As you gain confidence in its use, I think you’ll like it.

-Bill Baker